Me and My Baby View the Eclipse

Well, this book title idea is a bit more challenging than I expected.

I wrote this article a while ago for one of my then-pregnant friends. (And I was pregnant then too!) Now I think it will be good for my currently pregnant friends . . . such as Luke and Jessica!!

. . .

Maybe it’s something in the water, but it seems as if all of my friends are pregnant. And so are their friends. That means loads of baby showers and gift bags filled with both the mercifully necessary gifts and the painfully unnecessary ones.

From all of these showers, I am beginning to believe I am some sort of expert on baby preparedness. Oh, that and the fact that I have four children of my own and am also currently one of those pregnant friends as well.

Sheer experience alone has taught me a little about baby supplies. When my friend Mandi, a first-timer, asked me for advice on what she and her husband really needed, especially on a tight, recently moved across the country, beginning a new career kind of salary, I was surprised at how much information I had to give. What I wasn’t surprised about, and neither was she, was how much I loved giving the information. I even wrote it down for her, phone conversations being as sporadic as they are when four children occupy your home. Here’s what I told Mandi, and I think the advice is pretty universal.

What You Don’t Need:

Remember, this isn’t to say you may not want these irresistible items, and hey, if your budget allows it and you really want it, well... you’re an adult providing your own income, buy it! This list is just a reminder of what is essential and what is not. It’s a reminder that your darling new baby will not remember any of the monogrammed towels or expensive antique lighting you purchased for her tiny nursery, regardless of how exquisite the item may be. They will, however, notice if you cannot provide the endless supply of pizza they will later demand or help with that first car’s insurance or offer some reasonable amount toward a college education. Keep an eye on the big picture, that’s all I am saying.

Baby-sized Towels - Use your own towels. Your babies grow out of these miniature thirsty rags very quickly and your regular green towel dries their naked, wet bodies in a more than sufficient manner. Draw a duck on your towels if it makes you feel better.

Wipe Warmer - You’re not depriving your infant if you clean his sweet bum with a regular wipe. He won’t ever know the difference. Besides, what about those times when you are away from home and your sensitive-bummed sweetie refuses the cold wipe you offer? My husband and I often use warm wash clothes during the first few weeks of tiny bum-cleansing anyway, which avoids the diaper rash tender bums can incur from frequent diaper changes.

Changing Table - Marketing being what it is, clever furniture makers have given new life to rapidly unuseable pieces of furniture such as the diaper changing table, but still, if your budget and your space is at all limited, this is one piece of baby booty you can do without. Curved, foam changing pads are sold everywhere and they are reasonably priced and can be placed anywhere securely - a normal dresser, a table, a bed or the floor. They aren’t cute and painted a cozy sage green, but they get the job done.

Crib Skirt - Yes, it’s adorable and it really brings together the whole color-coordinated ensemble you are working toward, but cribs can look neat and attractive with matching sheets and the bumper. A crafty friend of mine sewed her own crib skirt, but I wasn’t designed for that sort of adventure.

Infant Shoes - Am I denying the incredible cuteness factor of miniature Nikes just like Dad’s or hot pink Chuck Taylor’s on three inches of baby feet? Certainly not. But the inflated price of infant shoes is outrageous and need I remind you? Infants cannot walk! If you find you cannot deny yourself this purchase, then try a second-hand store. You can guarantee no baby wore that shoe more than two months and the soles never touched the floor!

A Designer Diaper Bag - Who are you trying to impress anyway? I’m not advocating using a plastic grocery store bag, just be reasonable. Can you truly abide your newbie’s spit up staining your Vera Bradley bag?

The Mega Highchair - Advertisers will hate me. Graco will never hire me. But it’s true - there are so many smaller, lower-priced, more efficient, less-bulky options for you and your baby. Shop around and choose what fits your kitchen and your comfort level. I love a half high chair made by Fisher-Price. (Maybe they’ll like me now!)

An Expensive Glider - This is a hard one for me. I really wanted that $800 glider with the perfect patterned fabric. But you have to move that puppy out of the baby’s room as soon as she learns to crawl because it quickly morphs from Object of Beauty to Potential Tiny Exploring Hand and Toe Crusher and no one wants that.


What You Do Need:

Really, this list is plenty long and expensive, which is why after purchasing all the supplies you really do need, you are much better equipped to say "no" to all the items you don’t need. Trust me.

Diapers - You knew this one, right? Sure, try out several brands and see how the store brand compares because who really cares what logo is emblazoned across your baby’s bum. I think you will soon discover, however, that you get what you pay for and cheap diapers are usually just that - cheap.

Wipes - The same concept applies here. I cannot tell you how many times I have regretted the purchasing of cheap wipes. (Like the warehouse club type some well-meaning friends gave us - all thirty-two boxes of the Barely Better Than Your Hand wipes.)

Onesies - Babies spend all day trying to get out of their systems all that we work so hard to put in . . . breast milk, formula, you name it. It’s easy come, easy go, but it’s seldom neat and tidy. Having plenty of onesies spares you continual laundry when all you really want is sleep.

Dreft Stain Spray - Think of it as an investment in the clothes you have purchased. Seriously, this stuff is what laundry miracles are made of.

Quality Nursing Pads - No one wants to watch puddles form on your shirt and there aren’t many moments more humiliating than returning home to notice a wet ring around your nipple and wondering how long it has been there and who else has noticed. Try several brands and get your friends’ opinions. I prefer the washable, reusable type because of their high absorbency and lack of wrinkling when wet.

Great Nursing Bras - What you would have spent on that designer diaper bag, spend on the nursing bra. You won’t regret it.

A Reliable Baby-Sitter - Give her that Vera Bradley bag! After weeks of sleepless nights and only seeing your spouse through a foggy haze, you’ll be willing to trade anything for a night on the town. (Even if the "town" is a fast-food restaurant and sleeping in the car while your husband drives home.)

Bibs - Sometimes they’re just too gross to wash. Throw them out with the leftovers. Or recycle them as cleaning rags. Occasionally a baby bib pops up as a dust rag and makes me smile.

A Quality Monitor - You cannot put a price on security. Monitoring those cries and whimpers is vital. Sometimes you even hear a first word or adorable stretches and grunts.

Digital Camera - If you can swing it, purchase one of these. If you have to choose between a camcorder or camera, pick the camera. Most have limited video abilities too and several minutes of footage of your sleeping beauty is perfect. You won’t want to miss the photo opportunities.

Pack-n-Play - This little invention is sheer genius. An easy crib and changing station that you can leave set up in your family room or other area of your own home for convenience and a safe, familiar resting place for Junior when you are visiting all the grandparents and relatives who are anxious to meet the new kid.

New Car Seat - Unless the car seat has been recently and barely used by a family member or close friend and you know the seat’s history, invest in a new car seat. Recalls happen frequently and safety is not an issue worth saving a few dollars. You don’t have to purchase the brand that matches your car, just buy a new, reliable seat for the most vulnerable passenger in your car.

Do talk to your friends with babies and listen to their advice - everybody loves to give it. Compare your lifestyle with theirs though before you purchase everything they have. Different families have different needs. What is necessity for your neighbor may be excess for you and what your best friend declares a total waste of money may save your sanity.

Above all, don’t let this pre-baby period be a frenzy of confusion and frustration. Trust yourself and allow your own mothering instincts to blossom. When something works well, you’ll know it. And when it doesn’t, you’ll know that too.

You Are My I Love You

Little Willow is growing every day. Today I let her try chicken soup broth from my bowl - something I would have never let pass the lips of London in her early days. Ahhh, how times change.
She has a new tooth - middle bottom. She loves to sit up and hold her toys and she is still in love with her favorite sleepy toy- a bald eagle from Uncle Danny and Aunt Beckey that we named Semper FiBert! (Go Marines!)